The "Let Them Theory" and How to Finally Drop the Rope (Your Path to Radical Calm)
- Nasreen Allen
- 5 minutes ago
- 3 min read

Releasing Control & Embracing Calm
Let's be real...humans love being able to control the outcome. It gives us a sense of confidence if we think we know what's going to happen. But here's the thing: we never really know the true outcome of a situation. We can't control how others interact with us or how our day will unfold.
If your to-do list is miles long, your brain is probably operating as the CEO of a chaotic startup (whose employees frequently cry over the color of their sippy cup)—and you're definitely spending more time managing other people's chaos than caring for your own inner landscape.
We try so hard to control the world around us—our partner's habits, our kids' behavior, the cleanliness of our house, even the speed of traffic. We believe this control will bring us the peace we crave, but in reality, it's a false sense of security that only leads to more frustration.
This is where the transformative power of the "Let Them Theory" comes in.
It's a simple, radical mantra: Let them. If they want to do it, say it, or believe it, let them. This isn't about being passive; it's about reclaiming your energy from battles you were never meant to fight. It's about realizing that the only thing you truly control is yourself and your reaction.
My latest video, "Release Control, Find Freedom: A Guide to Inner Peace," offers a powerful roadmap for moving this theory from a nice idea into an actual daily practice.
Here are three actionable steps, pulled straight from the practice, that you can use today to release control and tap into a well of deep, unshakeable calm.
1. The Radical Journal Prompt: Name Your Need to Control
Before you can release control, you have to acknowledge where you’re gripping too tightly. This is a foundational step in self-reclamation. Grab your journal and finish this sentence:
“Today I released control of…”
When I did this, my responses were deeply revealing. They included:
My need to do all of the things.
My desire to be right or pointing out what was wrong.
Feeling like I don’t have time for a little self-care.
When you name your controlling tendencies, you disarm them. You move them from an unconscious habit to a conscious choice.
2. Tap Your Way to Tranquility (A Somatic Release)
When you're trying to control something, you carry that tension in your body. We can use EFT Tapping to gently release it and rewire our nervous system toward peace.
Follow along with the guided practice in the video (starting around the 2:01 mark), or simply tap gently on your forehead with your fingertips while repeating these affirmations:
I release the need to control.
I have control over myself.
In releasing control, I find peace.
Peace is within me.
I let go where I can.
This practice literally helps your body believe the truth: that your peace is not dependent on someone else's compliance.
3. The Body Scan of Contrast: Choose Peace Over Grievance
Our bodies contract around feelings of anger and resentment. To shift, we need to locate where peace already resides.
In the final meditation, we focus on two core feelings:
Notice the contraction: Bring to mind a recent time you felt anger or frustration because you tried to control something and it didn't go your way. Notice the tightening in your muscles or how your face grimaces.
Locate the expansion: Now, bring your awareness to the space where you feel peace and love in your body. Breathe into that space. Notice how your body feels more open as you breathe into that peace, compared to the contraction of resentment.
This contrast is your inner compass. The next time you feel the urge to step in and manage someone else's experience, stop and find that open space of peace instead. You can return to that space at any time, dissolving the energy that tries to control what is beyond your reach.
The "Let Them Theory" is the ultimate self-care plan for the perpetually overwhelmed soul. It's about recognizing that you deserve to live a life fueled by internal peace, not external management. Stop fighting gravity. Let them.
For the full, guided journaling, tapping, and meditation practice, watch the video here:
Video: Release Control, Find Freedom: A Guide to Inner Peace
Channel: Naturally Nasreen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJynrUHvkgg